


You’re Not You (When You’re Yuuji)

by AssassinatingTearribly



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Comedy, Crack, First Kiss, M/M, One Shot, a lil cursed probably, of course
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:00:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24952696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AssassinatingTearribly/pseuds/AssassinatingTearribly
Summary: When Karma starts acting strange, Nagisa fears the worst.
Relationships: Akabane Karma & Shiota Nagisa, Akabane Karma & Sugino Tomohito, Akabane Karma/Shiota Nagisa, Norita Yuuji & Shiota Nagisa, Norita Yuuji/Shiota Nagisa, Shiota Nagisa & Sugino Tomohito
Comments: 8
Kudos: 40





	You’re Not You (When You’re Yuuji)

The sun shone brightly down on the path Nagisa and Karma took up the mountain. It was a lovely day for absolutely nothing strange to occur.

A bird dared to sing and Karma grinned at it in response. The bird, as if mimicking him, sang even louder.

“It’s a nice day, isn’t it, Karma?” Nagisa smiled pleasantly at him.

“Absolutely gorgeous, Nagisa!” Karma threw his arms in the air extravagantly. “I’m so happy to be here with you!”

Nagisa frowned in concern. “Are you feeling alright?”

Karma froze and shook his head madly. “No! I’m hungry and I want to beat everyone up! Grrrrrrr!” He raised his fists to further demonstrate how much he wanted to beat everyone up.

“You’re not you when you’re hungry.” Nagisa chuckled awkwardly, a glint in his eyes. “Do you want to spar, then?”

Again, Karma shook his head frantically, strange little globs coming off his face. “I could never hurt you, Nagisa!”

Nagisa stopped and stared at him.

“Wh-What’s wrong?” He nervously shifted on his feet.

“Y-Your face...” Nagisa squinted, then, his eyes grew wide with alarm. “Your skin is peeling!”

Karma quickly turned around, covering his face with his bag. “Don’t look at me, I’m hideous!”

“You’re not hideous, Karma!”

“Imgly!” his words were muffled by bag. He choked out a sob, tears streaming down his face.

Nagisa was bewildered. “Uh... um... are you okay, Karma?” He placed a comforting hand on the bawling boy’s shoulder.

Instantly, Karma snapped his head up and beamed brightly. “I’m great now I know you care, Nagisa!”

Holding a hand to his mouth, Nagisa narrowed his eyes. “You’re not Karma.”

The honest-to-god Karma started shaking madly. “I-I don’t know what you mean! Hahahahaha! I’m-I’m gonna beat you up and put you in a maid outfit now!”

Nagsia sweat-dropped. “Your disguise has melted off, Yuuji-kun.”

Yuuji’s face fell. “I...”

Concerned, Nagisa leaned in a little closer to his face, which turned out to be a big mistake, because Yuuji wasted no time sealing the gap between their lips. Nagisa pulled back quick as a bolt, “Yu-Yuuji-kun?!”

Yuuji clumsily pulled out his wallet. “I’m sorry! I forgot to pay first!”

“Pay?”

He nodded and pulled out a few bills. “It’s bad etiquette not to! I’ll pay you triple as an apology!”

“I-“ Nagisa scowled and sighed. “Did Karma send you?”

“Yeah! Your pimp told me that you only accept customers disguised as him! He already took my down payment, don’t worry!”

Smiling exasperatedly, he pulled out his phone.

Yuuji noticed and pulled his out too. “Oh, you want to PayPal instead? I can do that as well!”

Nagisa held it to his ear and gestured for him to wait a moment. “Why, Karma?!”

“Nagisa~” Karma’s voice called back. “Having fun?”

“Ugh. You’re not even surprised the disguise failed.”

He chuckled. “Yuuji hired Nakamura to do it.”

“Eh? Why?”

“Oh? Are you doubting her make up skills, Nagisa?”

Nagisa looked at Yuuji’s globby, makeup-streaked face and got his answer. “Yes.”

“For shame, Nagisa. Give her a break, it’s hard to capture a face like mine.” He could hear the smugness in his voice. Nagisa decided not to comment.

“Uh, Nagisa?” Yuuji interjected tentatively. “I paid for 2 kisses-“

“I’m sorry, Yuuji kun, I-“before he could finish his sentence, an arm slugged around his shoulder.

“Morning, Nagisa!” Sugino greeted brightly. He smiled at Yuuji. “Hey Karma.”

“Uh, Sugino, that’s not-“

“Hellooooooooo, friend-I-know!!!” Yuuji waved erratically, even though Sugino was right next to him.

Sugino stared at him. “You’re not Karma.”

“HOW DID YOU KNOW?!”

“It’s pretty obvious, man.”

“That’s it.” Yuuji frowned. “I want my kiss now or I’ll write you a bad review on my blog.”

“On your food blog?” Nagisa wasn’t sure his readers would be interested.

“Yes, because,” he winked at him, “you’re so tasty, my sweet honey.” He added in a fingergun for extra smoothness.

Nagisa sweatdropped. This was getting even more out of hand. If a kiss would make him go away... well, it wasn’t like he hadn’t kissed people he didn’t like before. As quickly as he could, he leaned over Sugino and pecked Yuuji on the lips, making him blush like mad.

“Nagisa-“ his voice was filled with awe. “That was worth the money.”

“There’s an extra charge for an exclusive photo of the moment,” Karma said, casually joining them, phone in hand. Nagisa was both relieved and annoyed that he chose that moment to appear.

“I don’t need it.”

“Eh? Why?”

“Because Nagisa and I are dating now.” Like Yuuji was in a trance, he reached for Nagisa’s hand and lovingly smiled at him.

Karma promptly whacked Yuuji’s hand away. “There’s a rule against customers dating the staff.”

“That’s okay! Nagisa’s going to quit, anyway.”

Karma turned to Nagisa. “Is that true, Nagisa?”

He observed the two and sighed heavily. He couldn’t lie to Yuuji again, he’d realise right away he was lying. “Yes-“

Yuuji whooped and Karma scowled.

“But I-I’m sorry, Yuuji kun, we’re not dating.”

Fake Karma’s face dropped more than the clay on his face did. “Re-really?”

Nagisa nodded, wanting this to be over.

“It’s time for you to go, Yuuji kun~” Karma said smoothly, punching him in the face to knock him out.

“Karma?!” Nagisa hurried to Yuuji’s side. “Was that necessary?”

“Yes.”

Sugino silently walked away to get Korosensei. Just an ordinary day.

_Will they ever change?_

**Author's Note:**

> For Larry, who came up with the initial concept of Yuuji disguised as Karma
> 
> This was in my drafts for monnnths
> 
> Not really an ending ik


End file.
